abbattoir vigilante

Colson Whitehead made me fall asleep on the subway. I had heard of things like this happening in New York. I was going to be raped on the subway while sleeping. I was going to have my wallet stolen on the subway while sleeping. Everyone who falls asleep on the New York subway, must endure these two experiences. But I got lucky, and was woken up by a homeless man. He was puking liquor all over my lap. Unfortunately my book was ruined. I’m scared.

Hale County Alabama.

(born November 5, 1936)
a photographer, painter and sculptor
Began painting large abstract-expressionist canvasses, then switched to a new medium which evoked the place of his childhood summers in Hale County.
Bachelor’s (1958) and Master’s (1959) degrees in fine arts from the University of Alabama.
Now teaches at the Corcoran College of Art and Design in Washington, D.C..
After starting his professorship, there began annual visits to Hale County during summer months resulting in photographs. Originally shot with a Kodak Brownie camera, subsequently shot with a large format view camera.
The result of one visit, a series of photographs documenting the decay of individual structures as nearly isolated objects.
1974, manipulation of photographed buildings into sculptures that accurately reproduce their state of decay and patina. properly proportioned, base foundation in actual soil from these places. Another series of works was provoked by a terrifying incident , out of curiosity, tried to attend a Ku Klux Klan meeting, he fled.
the Klan Room filled with paintings, found objects, drawings, sculptures, dioramas, and a series of fabric klansmen dolls.

Sherborn Massachusetts

There is the peace abbey. The animals who live in the barn were rescued from commercial slaughter.
Here is the universalist church.
Here is the pilgrim church.
Here is the town hall.
Here is the sheriffs.
There is the one traffic light. There are no sidewalks.
Trains run on these tracks seven to twelve times a day.
The house across the tracks burned down consecutively for 5 years.
Pine Hill cemetery is the largest cemetery out of the fifteen. Some of the cemeteries are the oldest cemeteries in the country.
The gas station is in the center of town. You can buy bibles and moxie.
There was one black family.

I live in new york. I live on the island of brooklyn. My apartment is the top of a 3 family house. The house is painted grey. The front door has an awning that hangs over it. The landlords have hung icicle lights from the awning. The landlords live on the first floor. The icicle lights stay up year round. I am certain the house is the ugliest house on the block.

From my bedroom window you can see trees. The other view is sky. I like to look out at the trees and sky. The window in the kitchen is the only window with a view of the city’s skyline, but all the buildings are cut off except the Chrysler. This makes me feel a lot better about things. On the fourth of july I saw a few fireworks from the window in the kitchen.

I live here. Sometimes I forget my house is in New York.

There is something wrong happening. A movie called the cruise was shown in class. I watched it and thought about why the movie was assigned. I thought about the same thing for a long time.
A man was the narrator. He worked as a tour guide on a bus that drove around New York City. Riding on the bus was what he called “cruising”. I thought the movie was going to be about a ship. The man would point out to tourists where writers had lived and died in Grenich Village. All of the writers had died of a terrible causes, including suicide. It was very depressing. I wondered why the teachers at school wanted students to have that image of writers. I wondered if I would ever be a writer. I wanted to be happy.

I decided I would rather be happy than be a writer. The man who is the narrator seems to be upset. He was yells that New York City is about exhibitionism and art. He yells that he doesn’t want to work for a living. He doesn’t want to wake up in the morning to work. This doesn’t make sense to me. A lot of night jobs are available for people who would like a different schedule. The narrator got mad again. He is mad at his boss for asking him not to wear a ripped jacket to work anymore. The narrator hates his boss. He yells “I’m trying to grab these people by the collar and show them culture, this jacket is culture”. I don’t understand most of this movie. I don’t understand culture. People wanting to be depressed in order to make their lives miserable. I really want to be happy and have good things happen to me.

The narrator is depressing. This makes my heart feel weird. The narrator is very angry at the world for no reason. He comes up with a reason, anger is his “just reward”. The narrator wants to tell off all the people who alienated him. He doesn’t actually yell at the people. The narrator yells at the brooklyn bridge. He is mad at the brooklyn bridge for reading a friends screen play instead of his. The friends screen play and the bridge are both “pieces of shit”. None of the things yells are about people alienating him. The narrator is mad over the accomplishments of his friends. The accomplishments are “pieces of shit”. The narrator hates his friends. He also hates his parents. I feel sick. My head hurts, my stomach is hot. Maybe I should go home.

The school has confused me. My left arm fell asleep. The school wants us to be angry and depressed. Being angry and depressed isn’t something I want to do. I want to write. Before I went to the school I felt better. Talking about exhibition and art, New York City makes me feel bad. I am confused about a dated stereotype. I am attending school to learn how to be a “writer”. My body feels terrible and I wish I hadn’t seen the movie. I went home after class to eat mango raspberry sorbet. The sorbet makes me feel a little better.

I got sick and puked playing “moonshiner” with a trash-can next to me.

I needed to buy a book for studio. The book was titled “reasons to live”. I went to Barnes and Noble at 23rd St. and 6th ave. “reasons to live” was sold out. The Union Square store had “reasons to live”. I walked to the Union Square store. I bought two copies because Ellen also didn’t have “reasons to live” yet.

I said I felt sick and got up to puke in the bathroom. I took the trash-can from the bathroom. I sat down and played “moonshiner”. Ellen wanted me to hear her sing a song. I puked in the trash-can while she was singing. She has a really pretty voice.